I've decided that D and I need to take a trip somewhere. Anywhere. The last few months I've noticed that we've been excessively short with one another. Luckily after ten years together we can have a somewhat-heated exchange and still stand to talk to each other. Gone are the days when one of us would storm off leaving the other rolling their eyes and saying "whatever". However reaching this level of comfort has lead to a bit of complacency. While there is still plenty of heat in our marriage I doubt either of us feel the smoldering desire of year one. (Yes, it was that intense). Last week we were watching the series Numbers. The show has a unique concept; math genius professor assists his FBI brother in solving crimes. That being said the show is wearing on my nerves. If you drink every time the professor uses the word algorithm, you'd be drunk by the second commercial break. Anyway, when the Chinese embassy spy was killed by a hit and run driver I commented that it was only a matter of time before they used the Theory of Relativity to find the killer. D actually paused the TV (I heart Tivo!) and tried to engage me in conversation about the merits of Einstein's theory. Now don't get me wrong, D is still hands-down one of the most interesting people I will ever have the pleasure of knowing. But dude. Seriously? You took a random thought to a lame plot twist and want to talk science with me at 9pm on a Friday night? A 24-year old Mint would have lovingly hung on every word with doe-eyes because it would have been cool to discover that my boyfriend was cute and brilliant. The Minty of 2006 was feigning interest while trying to remember if there was still ice-cream in the freezer.
Last night it was my turn to nerd out and try to explain one of the thousand reasons I love the new season of Battle Star Galactica. D could barely look up from his laptop to fake a "uh huh, cylons... Pegasus... insurgents".
Have we discovered everything there is to know about each other?
I refuse to believe that.
Last night it was my turn to nerd out and try to explain one of the thousand reasons I love the new season of Battle Star Galactica. D could barely look up from his laptop to fake a "uh huh, cylons... Pegasus... insurgents".
Have we discovered everything there is to know about each other?
I refuse to believe that.
posted by Mint Chutney at 2:44 PM
Mint Chutney
Chicago, United States
Wife, mother, corporate peon.
26 Comments:
atleast u had 1 hot year ... ;)
lol. just kidding. had always wondered how people deal with the complacency factor ...
If you figure out how to get the first year back you have a duty to share it with other ten year old couples.
"intense"
exactly HOW intense?
*giggle giggle*
I dont know, we are on our 9 marriage year and 11 years since we "met". Having 4 kids in 7 years hasnt exactly help matters as well.
So if you do figure it out, let me know!
That is reality I guess. The first year being intense and things mellowing down...It scares me...
good idea Mint! if you were in India, I'd say go to Cuddle Beach in Gokarna - no teevee, no cellular connectivity, or other distractions - just the 2 of you and the sea... you'd have no choice but to rekindle that bonfire of Yr.1!!! :-)
very very well put....loved the blog! My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for 6....and I know exactly what you mean about the fights not being heated (which is great) but that the complacency thing is not so good either.
try doing something you guys did when you were boy-friend and girl-friend even though it may seem silly now. or get trashed together and make sure you dont talk about your kids at all! I find that getting trashed together so helps in rekindling the sparks.
my hubby and i did just that yesterday, and we ended up flirting so much that it was probably disgusting to the poor bartender (we sat at the bar, rather than on the comfortable sofas, just to feel young!)
i guess it all abt giving in to each other.... and i refuse to believe that one knows everything abt another even after many years of marriage... there will be definately one or few things that one will not know...
Year 10: Join an international spy ring, start going on secret missions without D's knowledge.
Year 11: Run an assassin-for-hire business from the kitchen while D is at work. Employ little children.
Year 12: Don a tight breast-popping lycra suit, start striking terror in the hearts of villains while D is asleep.
Year 13: Pretend to go on holiday 'with the girls'. Instead, join NASA's space programme and train to be an astronaut.
i love that song! ben lee's a bloody genius.
hmm
i think
yes you're right..a romantic lusty vacation is in order.
try role playing :D
hey u never know..he might just develop a renewed interest in battlestar galactica ;)
but jokes aside..no one can ever know EVERYTHING there is to know about someone..there's always stuff we hold back..maybe sharing some of that stuff with each other might add some spark?
Insightful, to say the least! :)
I know what you mean!!!! I don’t know about you but something I get irritated about now-a-days is how much like me 'he' has become. When we met each other we were in well defined slots - I was the passionate, short tempered, easily bored, monetarily ambitious, clean freak. And he was the one analytical, calm, persistantly hardworking, messy academic who didn’t care where his next penny came from. And now six years later….who told him he could lose his temper with me or start telling me we need to save more or tell me how happy he is to come to such a clean home!!!!!!!!!!
Ten years? That's great! I so look forward to the day that I can look back on ten years spent loving the same person.
*stares wistfully remembering her own hot first year*
You are completely right; no matter how intense and wonderful the initial bloom of love it is the sticking together through thick and thin that requires effort from both partners.
A beach resort with no phones, internet or Tv is teh answer. Nothing but the crashing waves and hours of blissful sunshine to get you talking again.
A frnd of mine told me that after she reaches the ten year mark, she plans to have a stripper pole installed in her bederoom. Apparently, that works wonders!
So this is what to expect in another 5/6 years. It has already transitioned from '4:am ..no problem I'll be at the airport' to 'Could you please take a cab back?'.. now it gets more interesting. Wonder if we'll be able to stick to our no TV policy.
I have no experience with the main topic of your post, so instead I will concentrate on the one part of your post I can offer an opinion about.
The current season of BSG is a collosal piece of crap. I'm sorry, but WTF is going on--don't kill the humans, now kill the humans--are the Cylons machines or retards?
And the whole world knew young Adama was gonna kamikaze to save his pappy the minute the ships decided to "split" up.
Don't get me wrong, I still watch every episode, but just because its the best sci-fi on tv doesn't mean it's good sci-fi.
Now great tv is The Wire. That shit is transcendant.
so how long did the hot years last?? atleast 5 i hope
i know its cheesy, but I don't know if i know everything about myself, let alone (my) D.
(though sometimes I must admit it can seem she knows me better than I know me!).
So,yeah, take a trip :)
i agree with 30in2005- a beach is abrilliant- besides getting the talking started, it also brings the wonderful comfortable silences.
Hi. I have tagged you - if you have the time.
Mint Mint MInt!
Sorry, completely off-topic, but just wanted to turn green somewhere....
Indigo Girls are playing in your city today! 27th October at Vic Theater.
*turns green, then red, then purple...*
SOB!!!
Groan... its gonna be a while until i CAN have some hot time with my hubby!!! if the indian Govt doesnt hurry up im gonna have to stay here til im gray and old!
marriage is never a piece of cake.. so im seeing myself!!! :D
just to let you know im back and readin gup on all ive missed!!
It's been ten years? Like, wow. Yes, a vacation does seem in order. One that does not even mention mothers and sisters. Have fun :-)
(I can't believe I had lost track of this blog)
hey mint..!!!! m a big fan...waiting for a new post............
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