Monday, October 24, 2005

Mirror in the Bathroom

It's cold and dreary and wet and all the leaves are falling and my uterus hurts. I hate celebrating my womanhood.

  • I dropped off Chutney for a bath today. He took one step outside and looked at me like I was nuts. Sort of like "Mint honey, do you realize how cold it is??"

Chutney on the way to his spa day

Yes, he's now a 62 pound puppy.

  • I've been having some very interesting conversations lately. The majority of the girls I knew from grade school have chosen to be stay-at-home moms. They are all in their early 30's and most have 2 children. I think being a stay-at-home parent is the hardest job in the whole world. That being said, I have never had the desire to quit my job and stay home full time. I took this job because it allows me massive amounts of flexibility and although it is common to see me up at 11pm working on stuff, I've never feel left out of my kid's lives. Today my one friend made me feel bad that I don't keep the Girl home with me. I wish I felt more guilty about working but the truth is I don't. However if it's ever becomes possible I would cut down to part time in a heartbeat.
  • Then there's the other argument. I recently spoke to my mentor and found out that one of the papers I helped him with has been accepted for publication. Dr B took this oppurtunity to lecture me about how I'm selling myself short in my current position and how I should return to acedemia. Acedemia is definitely intelectually stimulating but I'm not in a position where I can deal with grants and funding and long hours of writing and rewriting. The mortgage aint gonna pay itself.
  • D called this morning to tell me there's a rainbow outside. After some recent rough patches we've been communicating so much better with each other. I was 23 when we first met and I thought I had all the answers. It's only now I realize that I didn't even know half the questions.
  • Lots of talk recently both in and out of blogland about marriage and relationships. If I was forced at gunpoint to offer advice I would summarize as follows:

1. Don't be a drama queen: That goes for you AND your partner. Life is hard enough and marriage aint exactly a picnic all the time so the last thing you need is additional drama when things don't go exactly as planned.

2. Learn to let go: Even if you snap at each other, deal with it and then move on.

3. Pick your battles: I've asked D a million times (conservative estimate) to soak the dishes he puts in the sink. There's nothing worse than trying to wash off dry crusty oatmeal that's been sitting in a bowl for 3 hours. Sometimes he does. Sometimes he doesn't.

4. Variety is the spice of life: Um... not gonna say much about this except you should try to evolve in all areas of your life. *readjusts her halo*


Blogger Pink says...

That's good advice Mint, thanks! And Chutney is sooooo cute and biiiig!

Tue Oct 25, 12:15:00 AM CDT  
Blogger Jay says...

1. Don't be a drama queen... uh, guilty. Sometimes.

2. Learn to let it go... uh, I'm getting better at this.

3. Pick your battles... I do. I pick ALL of them.

4. Variety is the spice of life - I totally agree. But unfortunately NM still believes in monogamy, so I guess it's back to (2) for me.

Tue Oct 25, 02:40:00 AM CDT  
Blogger jemgal says...

There's a million things to be said about staying at home with kids or being a working mom. So i will try to keep it short. I tend to approve custom-made solutions. Not every mother is happily staying at home and don't believe the kids wouldnt realise... Why should mothers having spent ages in secondary and tertiary education stay at home if they want to work?
Its a permanent juggling act to balance work life and being a mother - in your own eyes as much as in the ever present critizism of the 'well-meaning' onlookers.

Tue Oct 25, 04:10:00 AM CDT  
Blogger Grafxgurl says...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Tue Oct 25, 09:06:00 AM CDT  
Blogger Grafxgurl says...

err.. dont you bathe chutney at home?...i remember bathing our dogs at home... we had to decide to have our baths at the same time too.. lol

got your marriage pointers Mint..
picking battles.. WHAT to pick? and HOW?
please to be divulging with more ... :D

Tue Oct 25, 09:07:00 AM CDT  
Blogger Sunrayz says...

'It's cold and dreary and wet and all the leaves are falling and my uterus hurts. I hate celebrating my womanhood.'

I know exactly what you mean...sigh...
I just wrote about my woes too...

Tue Oct 25, 11:44:00 AM CDT  
Blogger Menagerie says...

Dont me a drama queen , sigh..I know, very guilty

Pick your battles - I picked all of them

Probably some very good reasons I played my part in ruining my last relationship.

Good advice Mint, very good advice. Next time around I hope to work on them big time.

Tue Oct 25, 12:49:00 PM CDT  
Blogger Vignesh says...

Go Sox !

Yay !! Minty ! Chicago was soooo much fun ! Should've been there ! I can't remember most of it... but it was fun !


Tue Oct 25, 03:30:00 PM CDT  
Blogger Madame Mahima says...

aww shucks. but i LOVE being a drama queen.
ok, ok i'll work on that..thanks minty!

great advice..specially the last bit :P

Tue Oct 25, 10:11:00 PM CDT  
Blogger Penny Lane says...

I WANT CHUTNEY (or any dog like it, or just any dog)...

You're right about the pick your battles thing... sometimes we are just who we are and nothing can change it. So I have my annoying habit of moving the liquid soap to sit BEHIND the taps and he has the annoying habit of moving the soap to sit BESIDE the taps... So every day we play Tag with the soap... much fun ;)

Tue Oct 25, 10:28:00 PM CDT  
Blogger shakester says...

we're back!
nice bunch of posts to read, mint.
chutney has GROWN- he looks a lovely doggy!
whatever happened to the red chilli costume for the Girl?
and we got your postcard too! posts soon....

Tue Oct 25, 10:57:00 PM CDT  
Blogger Tartrazina says...

Variety is the spice of life... aha.. aha??! heehehe!

Wed Oct 26, 02:26:00 AM CDT  
Anonymous AB says...

Chutney is so so...adorable. Pls give him a tight hug on my behalf.

Wed Oct 26, 04:12:00 AM CDT  
Blogger Rat says...

Taking a printout and saving it for marriage whenever that happens :)

Wed Oct 26, 06:43:00 AM CDT  
Blogger D says...

amen to your list dear mint.
a big big thankyou for your lovely postcard from both of us.

Wed Oct 26, 09:58:00 PM CDT  

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