Me in Honey

So we're sitting in church and I have a weird taste in my mouth. Thanks to my recent bout of walking pneumonia (NOT a respiratory infection as I was originally diagnosed with) it was sort of like a metallicy mucousy taste. We're coming up on the part where we turn to our neighbor and shake hands as an offering of peace. I take my purse and gently rummage through it looking for a mint. Nothing says suck-it to your neighbor like bad breath. Although I can't find a mint I find a breath spray. I wonder when I bought that? I carefully take the top off and spray in my mouth. ACKKKKKKKKKKK! You know that Calvin and Hobbes when Calvin is forced to eat vegetables and he contorts his face? That's what I did. While I'm quietly dry heaving I look down at the "breath spray" and realize that it was an anti-bacterial hand sanitizer. The Boy is looking at me with a "I can't take you anywhere", D is shaking his head in disbelief and the Girl is now imitating the hacking sounds that I'm making. The woman in front of me turns around and I return her stare with my best "bite me" look.

I knew I should have stayed in bed.